My best recommendation, if you are not already doing so, is to use JMRI to graphically set in what you want.
(note: the image above probably won't exactly get what you want... the headlight configuration you are after isn't quite what I've ever tried.)
I cannot guarantee these will work, but you can try them:
CV49 = 40 (CV49 = F0F, white wire, value 40: Rule 17 Dimmable both directions; page 7 of TCS's manual)
CV50 = 24 (CV50 = F0R, yellow wire, vaule 24: Rule 17 Dimmable rev; page as above)
CV61 = 49 (CV61 = BEMF, 49 = 1(BEMF)+16(Rule 17 dim when stopped)+32(Opposite Headlight Dim); page 2 of the TCS manual)
Should you follow the advice about
not having the automatically switching headlights, something like the following should work(it's what I use on all my non-sound TCS decoders):
CV33 = 3
CV34 = 4
CV49 = 40
CV50 = 40
CV61 = 49
That'll map the forward light to F0, rear to F1, and enable dimming via F4.