You really need JMRI or a LokProgrammer to do any kind of advanced programming of an ESU sound decoder.
That said, it IS possible to use raw CV programming to accomplish what you want, but it is dangerous. One small mistake can mess up the entire programming, requiring a factory reset (at the very least).
Changing direction isn't hard - it requires you to set a particular bit in CV29. Since I don't know what your current CV29 value is, I can't tell you what value to put in for reverse running. Read the CV29 value and report back.
When you say "turn off headlights" do you mean program the decoder so that neither the front light and/or the rear light comes on when F0 is on? If that is the behavior you are looking for, then you can do the following:
To eliminate the front headlight, set CV31=16, CV32=2, then CV266=0.
To elimiinate the rear headlight, set CV31=16, CV32=2, then CV282=0.
Headlights are directional by default on ESU decoders. Do you want them non-directional? Which one (front or rear or both)?
Again, I cannot stress enough that using raw CV programming to do these kinds of things with a LokSound is playing with fire. Find a way to hook a computer to your DCC system and set up JMRI. You'll live longer.
John C.